crying

i cried for the first time about leaving on sunday.
actually it wasn't the first time. that was last october when i found out i'd been invited to interview in tucsan, US. i'd had probably my first good lesson with my exam class (i'd been teaching them over a year) and was distraught about leaving them - as we were now finally 'building a relationship'. needless to say that feeling didn't last long and now i feel stupid about ever thinking of staying another year to take them to AS exams!!
so sunday. donato and i were at my auntie's for a bbq. i wasn't even sad, didn't even feel like i was going anywhere. and then i said goodbye to bethany (my cousin's daughter) and the tears flooded. i cried for the rest of the evening, thinking it might be a very long time till i see her and the rest of my family again.
i must not cry at school. that would be sooo embarrassing. especially as everyone knows i can't wait to leave behind the hell that is l****wood. but how can i ensure this when the tears came so easily and without warning last sunday??

packing

i've never ever spent so much money in my life. all donato and i do is shop. every weekend. we leave the house at 11 and return home at 4 (if we're lucky) with bags full of things we may or may not be able to buy in malawi. i heard from the teachers already there that it's impossible to buy most things, and anything you can buy is 4 times the price. and i don't mean the price is quadrupled for foreigners. i mean 4 times the price you can get it for in england.

so now we have just about everything we need for the next 2 years. enough washing powder, cleaning fluids, sunblock, tampons so that all we'll have to buy is food.

the only thing left to do now is to pack it!